If the employee says, “I always feel so stupid, as if I could have seen it coming. I walked right into it,” then the superior should ask, “Who are you angry at now?”

And that's when the employee realizes he's angrier at himself than at the supervisor or the situation.

“Not only is he a victim of the circumstance, but he blames himself for his own victimization,” Messer points out. “Since he can't beat himself up, he sometimes displaces his anger violently at his supervisor or co-workers. Sometimes it can have fatal results.”

Managers shouldn't try to talk employees out of anger by saying, “Things aren't that bad” because it would be an insult to a worker's intelligence. “Things are that bad in his eyes,” Messer says.

The underlying issue is the employee's feelings that he's stupid, out of control and worthless. If he loses out on a promotion, gets a pay cut, or is fired, the disappointment confirms his pre-existing conviction that misfortune is all he deserves. “And that drives him crazy,” says Messer.

The Anger Clinic's antidote to the employee's feelings of self-contempt and worthlessness, which most people have after they are fired, is to replace them with feelings of self-respect.

“The Anger Clinic teaches a specific definition of self-respect that gives some people relief from the pain of their self-hatred,” he adds. “We define self-respect as a feeling that one is a worthwhile human being in spite of one's faults and imperfections.”

In other words, self-respect should not be defined in terms of raises, promotions, financial worth or even gainful employment. Many people make the mistake of taking a career reversal personally, as if it were a reflection on their worth as a person, and it is not.

One way the employee can improve his self-respect is by writing his anger down in a letter addressed to the person who has angered him most. If he isn't comfortable writing, any medium will do. He can speak into a tape, draw a picture or write a poem.

“We also suggest talking about the fact that the anger is not always irrational,” Messer added. “In may cases it is justified and the individual has a legitimate grievance, such as when hard-working, talented people are fired in mass layoffs.”

For their own mental health, those people should write an anger letter – to themselves – explaining that they resent the unfairness of what has happened and that they are angry at themselves for having been so good to the company. And they will see they are still worthwhile human beings.

For information about the Anger Clinic call: 312-263-0035.